25 4 / 2013
17 4 / 2013
"Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. an alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out."
17 4 / 2013
living alone in a small apartment in the shadier part of jacksonville for the last few months has been quite the adjustment. i have never lived somewhere by myself. i always lived at my parents, or had a room mate. just having the freedom to walk around nude has been nice, but living alone has had it’s downfalls. ceiling lights that are too high (when you’re only 4’11”), jars that are too tight, or just those nights where you swear you heard something in your dark closet. but for the most part, i’ve done pretty well holding things down here on my own.
i work with another spouse at work who’s husband is in a nondeployable unit. today,she was complaining to me about how unsafe she felt the night before, because he had duty through out the night. mind you, she lives in one of the nicest gated communities in jacksonville. she then proceeded to say she “understands how hard it is for me”. err….
in other news. today makes two months smoke free! … so can i stop thinking about it & being a grumpy broad yet?! oh, & deployment can hurryyyy up & be done, now. we’re getting clooose, which is making time go by soo slowly. i just want him home safe & sound. perhaps lack of sex & nicotene is finally wearing on me. come to think of it, those both sound fantastic right now.
16 4 / 2013
30 3 / 2013
you were officially erased from my past today. no photos. no letters. all of it is gone. you were a symbol of every bad choice i have ever made, & it is nice to let it all go. the longer time passes the more i realize every bad choice has thankfully led me to where i am today. so while i am thankful for that truth, i no longer need a constant reminder of the grey moments in my life.
i no longer need to self loathe over that which i can not change. instead i will love myself for the choices i have made, were the right choices.
so, goodbye. for good.
23 3 / 2013